I have a very difficult time letting go. This past month I have spent a great deal of time reflecting and letting go. I am fiercely loyal to my friends and I also become very attached to material things – why I’m not sure. Some things I do understand - like my mother’s fabric stash. That is one of the things I managed to go through this past month. Although it was very difficult for me to let her wonderful fabrics go, I know that I would not open the boxes and use the yardage inside. I sent 14 boxes out into the world – some I know went to a woman’s shelter so they could learn to sew, some to crafters and some to others that have the need to collect.
Another letting go was a friendship that was not what I thought it was. After being let down on numerous occasions this past year I realized that this was not a friend as I would define a friend. Perhaps the other party’s definition is different than mine but I have to live with me! After giving and giving then being left out in the cold I realized that it was time to let go. I need to move on. This has possibly been one of the hardest things for me to understand and I still tear up when I think about it. I wanted to believe the best in this relationship but I realize now that it was a one way street.
The last major hurdle for me this past month is giving up the old and accepting the new. We are closing down a water garden that was 18’ across and 24’ long. It was full of life –wonderful water lilies, Koi, Goldfish, Turtles, and of course snakes. It attracted many birds and small animals to its banks. This was the site of our wedding – lots of sentimental attachment to the area. I know that it is for the best that we taken it down but I also know that it is difficult to see something so beautiful be destroyed!
I know that in order to move forward you have to let go – it is just hard to do that.