I'M HERE.......i think

I feel like I have dropped from the face of the earth! BUT this is a good thing. I have been immersed in studio work as well as dealing with people working on the pool/yard It's finally shaping up!). I am a bit amused (no seriously….amused...HA...) that life comes at you all at once. You go weeks and weeks with no “finish lines”, no projects, no commitments and then all of the sudden everything happens at once! Now with four finish lines looming just around the corner – I’m talking days here – the pool/yard work at a critical point – like having to make decisions THIS instant (no they can’t wait until Tuesday or an hour for that matter!) – 11 parrots to care for (they are like children and need daily attention) - a spouse needing me…you know acknowledging that he exists!… plus keeping up with the company administration duties there has been little down time compose anything worth reading! I am however making ART!  YEAH!!

I will try to do better in the coming weeks – well after Tuesday! I can report that one entry has been successfully sent off – and early at that! Time will tell if the other three get completed in time. Then I can unbury my studio….I know I have flat surfaces in there....somewhere.... it will be an archeological dig!

Also, don’t forget about the drawing for a piece of my art work! Go to my website www.laurabeehler.com and sign up for the mailing list by August 31, 2010 and you are in!

Look Out.......

I “retired” several years ago from an 8 – 5 job so that I could devote more time to making. I loved the freedom of not having to answer to someone other than myself. At that time I had not really thought about the direction I wanted to go.  I hadn't develped a plan - no routine - no schedule -  no deadlines. Because there was no plan, no routine, no schedule it was very easy to say "sure, I can do that". I am very quick to “help” when needed at the expense of my own needs and work.  I have come to realize that by doing for others I have not been fair or honest with myself. Now I’m finding that it is very difficult to put my needs before others. My dreams have been put on the back burner because I have allowed others to push them there. The retiring from “work” didn’t happen, I just transferred “work” to a different setting, many times longer hours and of course at a much less pay rate! I am in the process of taking my time back but it is very difficult. It is hard to retrain those around me that have become dependent on me to be there when called. It is also very difficult for me to say “no”. BUT look out world the answer is - No, I can’t right now. Stand back and watch out for what I CAN!

Change

I follow Hugh Macleod at http://gapingvoid.com.  Hugh is a very interesting person.  His "working" job was as an advertiser and in his "spare" time he drew cartoons on the back of business cards.  He has recently dropped out of the 8 - 5 manic world in favor of a slower life in Alpine Texas.  However I don't believe that it is much slower - he just has control over what he does and when he does it! From here he runs an amazing empire of public speaking, "geek" parties, cartooning, creating art and in general doing what he loves.  I get a daily cartoon from him and in this mornings "cartoon of the day" was the above.  After my last post I felt it was very appropriate to re-post here.   If you get a moment check out his website - he has some amazing one-liners as well as great ideas for creativity!

Letting Go

I have a very difficult time letting go. This past month I have spent a great deal of time reflecting and letting go. I am fiercely loyal to my friends and I also become very attached to material things – why I’m not sure. Some things I do understand - like my mother’s fabric stash. That is one of the things I managed to go through this past month. Although it was very difficult for me to let her wonderful fabrics go, I know that I would not open the boxes and use the yardage inside. I sent 14 boxes out into the world – some I know went to a woman’s shelter so they could learn to sew, some to crafters and some to others that have the need to collect.

 

Another letting go was a friendship that was not what I thought it was. After being let down on numerous occasions this past year I realized that this was not a friend as I would define a friend. Perhaps the other party’s definition is different than mine but I have to live with me! After giving and giving then being left out in the cold I realized that it was time to let go. I need to move on. This has possibly been one of the hardest things for me to understand and I still tear up when I think about it. I wanted to believe the best in this relationship but I realize now that it was a one way street.

The last major hurdle for me this past month is giving up the old and accepting the new. We are closing down a water garden that was 18’ across and 24’ long. It was full of life –wonderful water lilies, Koi, Goldfish, Turtles, and of course snakes. It attracted many birds and small animals to its banks. This was the site of our wedding – lots of sentimental attachment to the area. I know that it is for the best that we taken it down but I also know that it is difficult to see something so beautiful be destroyed!

I know that in order to move forward you have to let go – it is just hard to do that.

Does it Matter?

I am often asked “How long did it take you to make that?” There are so many answers to that question – how long in terms of technical skill – how long in terms of artistic development – how long in terms of inspiration – how long in terms of interpretation and on and on – so is “how long” an important part of the definition of “art”. Is that a question that should even be asked when viewing a work? Is a work a piece of art if it is put together in 15 minutes? Should there even be a thought given to the “time” a work takes to complete? Is a work that takes six months “better” art than a work that takes 6 days? So I would think the better question to ask is what does the work say? Does the work speak to you? Does it send a message to viewers? Is the message one that you wanted to convey to the viewer? Do you “get it”?


Then there is the “is it good” question. As I look at art works today I am often puzzled at why this work is considered “fine art” or “a work of art” and to me it looks as if my grand daughters made it. The colors are awful, the composition is awful, there seem to be no skills used in the production of this piece of “fine art”! So how does a work become considered “art”? Does the infamous “they” make the rules as to what is acceptable “art”? In looking at the journey art has taken over the years I’m thinking the rules change with society’s ideas, thoughts and views. What is considered a “major work of art” in today’s times most likely would have seen the maker or artist run out of town on a rail 50 or 60 or 100 years ago. How do we as artists make this happen? Are the artists the ones that are actually providing the viewers the works to mould what is “a work of art” or are the viewers molding the artists?

So the bottom line for me is – it doesn’t matter! I “make” because I like what I’m doing. I “make” because I have something inside I want to express. There are times that need is only to say – hey look at these colors – aren’t they pretty! Sometimes that need is to express something deeper - regret, loss, anger. It may not be so “pretty”. If a viewer is touched by my work then they get it. I have been successful in conveying my message.

Lisa Kerpoe and I have curated  Fiber: A Closer Look. This is an invitational exhibit of Fiber Artists in and around San Antonio, Texas.  The works represent a range of artforms including art quilts, wearable and functional art, 3 dimensional sculpted fiber, artcloth, basketry and weaving. Fourteen artists are featured, including Laura Ann Beehler, Jane Bishop, Laurie Brainerd, Jane Dunnewold, Martha K. Grant, Caryl Gaubatz, Leslie Tucker Jenison, Lisa Kerpoe, Lisa Mittler, Susie Monday, Susan Oaks, Linda Rael, Letitia Rogers and Linda Sura. Most works in the exhibition are new or have not been shown in this area.

The exhibit will be held at the San Antonio Visual Artists' (SAVA) gallery from May 6-29, 2010. Please join us for the opening reception on Thursday, May 6. The reception is from 6 to 8 pm and the gallery is located at the RiverCenter Mall, Suite 205 (near the Commerce Street entrance).  When you pull up the "map" of the mall the SAVA gallery is located in section "G" - street level. SAVA is to the right just inside the entrance door off of Commerce. The entrance door is in between Foga de la Chao Restaurant and the Parking Garage.


http://www.shoprivercenter.com/main/rivercenter.pdf

Please show your support for Fiber Art in San Antonio and attend the opening. You will NOT be dissapointed!

Processing

I was recently talking to a dear artist friend and lamenting about what a slug I have been. I just haven't had the desire, energy or motivation to create and was feeling really down about it. It seemed to me that the more I "didn't" the more guilt came tumbling down on my shoulders. That weight added more distress to my inability to create. I don't think it was an artists block as there have been tons of ideas running through my head. I was just in a slump - I didn't want to move. I would have been perfectly content sleeping all day and most likely would have if our birds, cats and dog didn't need attention - not to mention doing for the other half. (He doesn't do well on a diet of fruit and vegetables - he needs that "man" food! Not to mention clean clothes....I digress) During the course of our conversation I told her I just had been doing nothing - she paused and then said, No, Laura you are working - you are doing a most important part of being an artist...... you are processing. I giggled at her statement and thought - yes, that's a good way to explain my lack of ambition lately - I'm not being a slug - I'm processing! I didn't think about it too much more until a few days later when my "adopted" mom said - honey I just don't know how you manage to keep everything in your head - you think and think and think and then it all comes out on fabric! In the instant of that statement I realized my dear artist friend was right - I just hadn't looked at my method of creating through another's eyes. I have been working, I've been processing ideas, designs, materials, what is to come next. And when the time is right, when all has percolated and I have an understanding it will all spill out for the world to see. I have a much better outlook after that realization.  Perhaps we all need to give ourselves permission to process and not be so hard on our "not doing".


The photo really doesn't have anything to do with my post - I just like to see pictures in people's posts! This piece, Grove, is a recent small work that is now available at the Copper Shade Tree Gallery in Round Top, TX.